June 2012
When a girl you don't know gives you a dirty look:
xmayb:
When you accidentally touch that hot person’s hand
xmayb:
But deep inside
Dear Unfollowers.
xmayb:
how my mother works
me: mom i got all A's
mom:
me: mom i cleaned the whole house
mom:
me: mom i don't do drugs and i'm not pregnant
mom:
mom: is this your cup on the table?
me: yes
mom: you never do anything right i do for you all day long and you do nothing for me but stress me out you are so out of control you are grounded if you think you had no life before you just wait i cant believe you treat your own mother this way get out of my sight
May 2012
i cybered on omegle today
You: hi
Stranger: hey
You: wanna cyber
Stranger: Depends are you a girl? ;)
You: ya
Stranger: And okay then, you start?
You: i come into ur bedroom
You: and ur sleeping
You: and i crawl under your blanket
Stranger: I'm still asleep
You: u feel me pulling down ur pants
You: and u wake up and smile
Stranger: I kiss you gently, still sleepy
You: then i smile and open the scissors around your dick and snap them closed
You: cutting off your penis
Stranger: wait
You: THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR CHEATING ON ME
Stranger: Then what...?
You: I HATE YOU
Stranger: I didn't cheat
You: you bleed to death in your bed
Stranger: i didn't cheat on you. lets restart ok
You: nobody ever knows what happened
You: i flee to mexico with your Mercedes
You: the end
Stranger: I have a mercedes?
You: not anymore faggot
Your conversation partner has disconnected.
when you change your profile picture and you're...
sodamnrelatable:
then after no one likes it:
via sodamnrelatable
When you touch the bathroom doorknob and the knob...
sodamnrelatable:
When I go to sleep and I have a lot of stuff on my...
sodamnrelatable:
via sodamnrelatable
SpongeBob: "Patrick, you're a genius!"
Patrick: "Yeah I get called that a lot"
SpongeBob: "What, a genius?"
Patrick: "No, Patrick."
Watchheyidc:
j3sustits:
oh my fucking GOD
holy fuCk
Watch
